Friday, May 30, 2008

Statcounter: Crack for bloggers

Dear Reader in Kirkland Washington,

That was an impressive visit you made here on Wednesday. I'm so glad you stopped by. Did you know you spent 4 hours and 11 minutes cruising around my blog? I do, because I have statcounter.

Statcounter is free to set up, and more addictive than anything I have yet experienced. Hardly an hour goes by that I don't pass by my my computer and check in. OOOh! some more page loads! Oh boy - returning visits! I feel so loved.

I can even look at *you* Mr/Ms Kirkland Washington. I know you're browsing from Kirkland Washington for example. And that you have a monitor that has 1024 x 768 resolution.

You loaded 57 pages of my blog. Honey, I really think you need to get yourself a hobby. I didn't even know I had 57 pages on my blog. Are we related? Do I owe you money? Am I that entertaining (I really don't think so). Maybe you're writing some sort of tell-all book about my family, or a dissertation on abnormal psychology.

I know too much about you, so if you don't mind I'll just call you "Kirkland." Is that internet explorer version 6 working well on your Windows XP? And I'm glad you've got javascript enabled, it's making me think I should put some cute animation all over my blog.

Do you feel a wee bit uncomfortable? Like I'm stalking you? Welcome to my world.

But since you've spent 4 hours and 11 minutes of quality time with me, don't you think you could help me out, now that you know me so well? Maybe come down and babysit the kids? Maybe join me for a trip to Disneyland? I happen to know you found me via

Or maybe, just maybe. . .leave me an itty bitty comment? Just one? Thanks! luvyameanit

Now I have to go upgrade my statcounter account. Isn't that how dealers work? Starts out free because they know wild cravings will bring the customers back. See what you've done Kirkland? I'm hooked. I need to know more about you.

10 people stopped folding laundry to write:

compulsivereader said...

Yeay! I can leave a comment now. I love your blog - I found it on Oh Christmas. Too funny!

Tip Junkie said...

This is hilarious! I don't think my stat counter shows how long they've been on my blog. That would be some fun info.

I got a comment once on my personal blog that a reader spent 2 days reading my blog. I felt a little like you did in the post. Then I giggled to myself the rest of the day that someone felt I was important enough in their life to spend it reading my blog.

Talk about a huge ego boost. ;) I'm glad your stalker came out of the closet and I hope you have tons more!

Threeundertwo said...

compulsivereader, yesterday I learned how (and why!) to allow anonymous posts. Sorry you weren't able to comment before.

tip junkie, if you have the basic statcounter, over on the left sidebar is a link for "visit length." When you click on it you get a pie chart. Below the pie chart you can drill down on who has visited more than an hour. When you click on the top person you can find out all about your top stalker.

Anonymous said...

I want to be the top stalker! No fair, no fair!


(And that's one of the reasons my DH asked me to take off my email address from LP!)

noble pig said...

How funny, but I too have been logged on to someone and walked away for hours and hours and hours...I guess it happens!

Kathy said...

Hi, I just linked in via Angie and I'm finding this all quite entertaining. I have to make sure to leave a comment because I'm also from Washington and I didn't want you to think I was affiliated with Kirkland what so ever.

ps I wonder what the next level of statcounter gets you...I check mine every hour too! ;)

IzzyMom said...

While you're at it, ask your friend to PLEASE upgrade her/his browser. Using IE6 is like driving a Model T in 2008 and designing for it makes the collective heads of the web design world want to explode. Plus? the internet will look SO much better when they finally move into the 21st century. Kirkland will thank you for this advice. Anonymously, of course.

ali said...

Funny! One time I was reading my morning blog list and my 4 year old kept tugging at my shirt sleeve whining about food and how I need to feed him seeing as how I'm the mommy and all, so I left to feed him breakfast, got sidetracked, and 2 hours later went back to the blog I was reading. How embarrassing!

Good & Crazy said...

Okay, that was funny. But only because it hits home (a little) Okay, a lot.

Oh, and PS, I'm the type to forget I was on a blog and walk away, sometimes for hours, but does that look the same when there aren't pages being clicked?

Oh, I also want to know why does it show 0 seconds when the same person left a message?

Widney Woman said...

I think I like your blogcounter better than mine. I know mine has all that info, but I don't think it's arranged quite as obvious as yours. I'm going with your people.

I was scared you were really referring to me. It made me wonder if I walked away from your blog. I don't think I've looked at 57 pages of yours, though. Let me know if I have. LOL.

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