Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Humans Lie

I'm not sure this box really went into outer space. I got inside for some space exploration and when it was opened up later, I wasn't on some exotic cat planet. I was someplace that looked suspiciously like a vet's office.

And the first alien I met held me down and put a thermometer in a very delicate place. Who dreamed up this kind of torture?

I could hear my sister crying from her spaceship but I was too nervous to answer her. I was so nervous I purred. Loudly. Then I started to shed profusely. The big alien made some joke about how he was wearing a fur coat now. I was so embarrassed.

Then I was placed back in my spaceship and the hatch was closed again. I prayed for a better trip this time. I landed back on my mother planet.

I am never flying again. I expressed my displeasure about this trip by exercising my delicate area on the persian rug. Then I threw up a few times in the hall just to get my point across.

But you know what I think? I think that "Cosmic Pet Shuttle" didn't really go into space at all.

I hate false advertising.

- Ashleigh the cat

10 people stopped folding laundry to write:

Cheryl Lage said...

Ashleigh, you know, sometimes it's best just to move on without such post-traumatic demonstrations. We've all been deceived by false advertising...we've all been embarrassed by insensitive doctors.

You're a better woman than that. I know you are. Hope you feel better for having vented and expressed your displeasure in words...try to keep your protestations less biological in nature next time.

(HYSTERICAL post, ThreeUnder! ;) )

noble pig said...

Oh. it sounds like some cleaning was in order....yuck-o!

Mom/Mum said...

V funny!

What A Card said...

Aw, poor kitty! Hee!

I left you an award/meme on my site. I was tempted not to tell you as I know you enjoy finding random links to your site :) Anyway, play along if you'd like, or not!

We are THAT Family said...

Hi Ashleigh, don't be emailing Alice and Ike, k?

This will be our little secret.

Nice kitty.

Nancy said...


Aww, Poor Ashleigh.

Lily Boot said...

I'm still laughing - but as for the persian rug - we had one that eventually spent more time hanging on the clothesline being HOSED than it did on the living room floor - why persian rugs?!?!? Why not bathroom tiles?!?!?!?

Good N Crazy said...

For REALS you bought that just for the CAT! Hilarious.

Sorry Mr. Cat. We drove our cat 13 hours in a car in order to move HERE a month ago...used some sort of 'calming drops' the pet store gave me...WORKED! (Wish I could use em on the kids!)

* TONYA * said...

LOL. That was too funny. Poor kitty.

Pumpkin Head Baby Co said...

That story made me laugh. I needed a laugh right now. Thank you!

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