Sunday, February 8, 2009

CSI: Kitchen

The Crime:
Excessive cutlery consumption.

The Evidence:
Five knives discovered on the cutting board after the morning rush.

The Facts of the Case:

  • Only four people in the house actually consumed toast or otherwise prepared bread products that morning.
  • The toaster, a cool retro model purchased specifically for this toast-loving family, has four slots, allowing four pieces of bread to be toasted at one time.
  • The only available condiments for spreading were margarine and peanut butter
  • Everyone in the family ate breakfast at the same time.
  • Those who made themselves sandwiches for school also used either margarine or peanut butter.
The Suspects:
Everyone in the family except the mom, who neither consumed toast nor prepared a lunch for herself.

The Sentence:

All suspects are required to listen patiently to yet another tirade from mom about the overuse of resources. While she's at it, she's going to talk about the excessive amounts of laundry, and why does everyone keep stealing the pens from the mug by the phone. If all suspects exhibit a contrite attitude, they may waive the part of the sentence which includes mom's usual lecture about the towels on the bathroom floor.

12 people stopped folding laundry to write:

Annie said...

Well, I hope you solve that one. We had a cutlery crime over Christmas break. The day of our annual Christmas Eve Eve dinner, I could only find four forks. Four forks for 34 people. I know not what happened to all of them, thankfully it was two days before Christmas and stores were actually open.

noble pig said...

Well, I'd say you did good, my two kids would have used 10 knives! A mother's work is never done.

Lisa said...

Ahahaha! You always make me smile!

In our house it would have been like the prev. poster who said she had 4 forks. Where does it GO?

Raggedy Girl said...

And why are they left on the cutting board, I might ask? A used knife is to be quickly rinsed and put in the dishwasher to await sterilization. Does the dog like toast and peanut butter and could he be more adept than previously known?
Roberta Anne

DebD said...

Bwhahaha... what punishment do they receive for rolling their eyes?

Lindsay-ann said...

I hope you find who did it!

Des said...

*BIG toothy chuckle/smile*

word verification: squit

If you guys don't 'squit it' out, I'm removing all utensils and you can go hunts sticks to butter your bread. THEN, you'll wish you had listened to your mother!

vickybu said...

Oh that looks so familiar! The only way we tamed the "dish beast" was to give everyone in the family one set of dishes with their name on it. We did a family art project, and everybody painted their plate, bowl, spoon, fork, knife, and cup. Now if anyone leaves his/her dishes out, I KNOW who did it!

Eileen said...

ha-ha! Well I think I can actually beat you on that one today.. but I hesitate to say what it was that put me through the roof.. it was so awful! Can't anyone else in the house but mother see when the hose to the washing machine is not inserted properly into the drain?... allowing the water to empty out all over the floor? I guess too many dirty knives gets to me too :-)

Julie B. said...

I'm guilty of this myself, but but only cause I put them down in different spots...holy crap can't believey they were all on the cutting board :) I have the same pen problem too. WHERE do they all go?!?!

Christy said...

That is the funniest thing I have read in a while!
thanks for the smiles! I needed them!

Debbie said...

If that tirade works, let me know. I'll hire you to come here and give it since mine fall on deaf ears.

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