Monday, February 9, 2009

It's done.

What is humane?
What is selfish?
What is kind?
What is responsible?
What is the right thing to do?
What is more agonizing?
What is more heartbreaking?
What requires more bravery?
What requires more trust?
What is more painful?

I would have been ok
if my husband hadn't sounded so sad on the phone
I would have been ok
if the receptionist hadn't cried
I would have been ok
if each of the nurses hadn't made a point to come in and give her one last hug, and even a kiss
I would have been ok
if the vet hadn't been so sad and sorry.

I tried to be brave. I really did.

But as I drove home from putting my dear cat Ashleigh to sleep, I bawled. As I drove towards my house I saw two dear friends out for a walk and they waved happily. I stopped the car and told them what had just happened. They enveloped me in hugs and love and support. It was exactly what I needed at that moment.

If I am not brave, at least I am blessed with wonderful people around me, supporting me, sympathizing with me when I need it the most.

Goodbye Ashleigh.

27 people stopped folding laundry to write:

Jeni said...

I'm sorry about your kitty. Those decisions are never easy, and the recovery is hard. Hang in there.

Patty said...

As soon as I read "it's done" I knew what this would be about. Now, I'm crying too. I'm really sorry. I know Ashleigh had a wonderful life with you all. Big hugs to everybody at your house.

It's Always Something Around Here said...

Oh I am so so sorry!!!!

Big hugs!!!

compulsivereader said...

Hugs to you and your family. I'm so sorry.

kids taxi driver said...

Hugs to you!! Sorry to hear about your kitty. I have tears on my face as I was reading your post.

Jenn Peacock said...

I am so sorry to hear about your precious kitty. Losing a pet has got to be one of the hardest things ever. (((HUGS}}}

FaithChick said...

I am so sorry. I will keep you in my prayers. Some times losing our pets are like losing our best friend. I am so sorry.

Monkey Memories said...

So sorry. :(

Lisa said...

I am so sad for you.

DebD said...

so sorry. hugs to you and fam.

Rachael said...

i am so sorry for your loss...

LauraC said...

I am truly sorry to hear of your loss. More hugs coming your way.

LauraC said...

I am truly sorry to hear of your loss. More hugs coming your way.

Cynthia said...

I am so sorry. I am thinking of you and your family.

Nancy said...

Aww :( I'm so sorry!

Des said...

I'm. so. sorry.

Klucky said...

Oh I'm so sorry!! After reading the prior post that mentioned a vet emergency I was hoping for good news...I know so very much how you feel and send love and hugs!
Ashleigh and Smudge (my kitty) are probably lounging in a beautiful garden "stalking" butterflies as we speak! ;)

Catherine said...

I am so sorry for your loss! That is such a hard decision to have to make. Hugs to you and your family.

Eileen said...

Well. You have me bawling right now too.

Scary Mommy said...

I'm so sorry, sweetie. I'll be thinking of you all!

belinda said...

I'm sorry for you and your family...your kitty WAS part of the family too. I experienced the loss of my 13 yr. cute little companion 'lil sister' this past july....I'm sad for you too!

Jillybean said...

I'm so sorry

((((hugs))))

Widney Woman said...

When I saw the title, my heart skipped a beat. I am so sorry for your loss. Here I am crying because of a wonderful cat I've never met. But I know how much this cat meant to you and to your family. I'm sending hugs to you right now.

Jennifer Suarez said...

(((hugs))) I'm sorry. I had to put my kitty down a few months ago too. I know how you are feeling.

Did they give you the rainbow bridge poem? We got one and I BAWLED my eyes out reading it. It was almost TOO touching.

What A Card said...

I'm so sorry. It's so tough to make that decision. Hugs to you...

Lindsay-ann said...

So sorry to hear about your cat. Thinking of you.
Lindsay

Jocasta said...

I'm so sorry (just catching up on posts now) - Mac really took the stuffing out of me even though I know it was the only thing to do. Our other cat has taken his death badly - hoping your family fares better.

Hugs

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