Sunday, April 12, 2009

The Worst Easter Ever

No, not this Easter. Waaaaay back when I was a kid. We had a pet raccoon named Ricky. Little Ricky had been abandoned in a tree by his mother. Funny thing, when you call up the zoo and ask if they want a raccoon - they sort of laugh at you. I guess they get a lot of calls like that.


So he stayed, and he was a pretty cool pet. Until one Easter.

You know, Easter. That holiday where the Easter bunny leaves little plastic eggs all over the yard? That holiday where the kids go running out whooping and scrambling all over the place to find the eggs because they have candy is inside?

So picture the scene that Easter morning about 1970 when four kids went running outside and found. . . nothing but empty plastic shell pieces.

Apparently Ricky had already found what was inside those eggs, and during the night he went on to find and open and devour ALL of them.

We kept finding half eggshells for years. In the gutters. Up trees. He must have had quite a party that night before, and dragged his treasures all over the place.

Obviously I've never gotten over it. My kids love this story because it's like some sort of unimaginable horror to them.

I hope your Easter was better than that one. I'm looking forward to Easter next week, because we're Greek Orthodox. Having Easter on a different date has its perks. I get to shop the after-Easter sales. Gotta fill up those plastic eggs. . .

13 people stopped folding laundry to write:

WIDNEY WOMAN said...

Hysterical!!

Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said...

I may or may not have put some Halloween candy inside of some plastic eggs this year. I'm not saying.

SuburbanCorrespondent said...

I bet you can't find any jelly beans, though. I was lucky to score a single bag of them on Friday.

Yes, I did provide pictures of the amazing knitting-storage capacity of my new minivan. They're right here.

Bea said...

Funny story.

Katherine said...

I had a raccoon Easter one year too - DH and I had gone camping Easter weekend and had taken some candy with us. A raccoon (or several) got into our cooler and cleaned out all the chocolate candy and our dinner leftovers from the night before. Luckily they didn't find the raw eggs at the bottom of the cooler or we wouldn't have had any breakfast! They evidently hit MANY coolers that night - must have been some fat and happy coons!

The Mother said...

Those raccoons are ingenious little devils. We've had them open coolers which were triple locked AND stuck under park benches.

But our raccoons are Jewish. We know this because they ate all the bagels, lox and kosher hot dogs, and left the bacon.

So glad to see that raccoons are so diversified. Tell your Eastern Orthodox raccoon that I've got some Jewish friends for him, if he wants to branch out.

BoufMom9 said...

LOL!
We too had a raccoon when I was little...Rachael Raccoon. She did not steal our eggs, however, but she did have 2 babies and eventually all 3 of them got into the house!

Raggedy Girl said...

If you like to write then they Ricky the Raccoon Easter Egg Caper would make a wonderful children's book.

Have A Marvelous Monday
from Roberta Anne
"The Raggedy Girl"

Cheryl Lage said...

I'm with your kids...I love that story. Think the only comparable one I have is one wherein during the holidays (pre-twins) someone sent my office a HUGE tower of Ferraro Rocher gold-wrapped chocolate-y delish orbs.

The next day upon arriving at work, the tower had been gnawed and foil strewn about by some mystery set (or sets) of rodent-y teeth.

Nothing quite like that mental image to make me never want those again.

But Ricky, I'd share my Easter haul with him any day...

Stimey said...

That's hilarious. I'm glad to hear that candy isn't bad for raccoons. I like raccoons.

Laura said...

That is a great story...would make a terrific children's book.

Scary Mommy said...

Haaa!! That is REALLY funny-- and I agree, a children's book in the making!

amelia said...

Oh, that is funny.

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